Daddy's Little Girl

I just watched this video on you tube about several girls that had relationships with their dads but the dads either divorced the mother, left for the army, or died. It's a really sad story really but it got me to thinking about how many divorces there are in this world. I remember hearing once in a Sojourner meeting that most divorces in this world are based around money. This could go in a whole different direction but divorce is not what I want to talk about right now.

I live in rose creek village Selmer, Tennessee, the most wonderful place in the world. Right now I want to confess that I have been taking everything for granted, especially the fact that I have parents who have been married for 25 years, counting this year. The even more amazing thing is that God is not done with their marriage but he continues to strengthen it in ways I cannot understand myself but it is beautiful to watch. God is really doing an amazing work in the marriages of couples I live with and I have lost sight of it's preciousness. It is truly miraculous!

Anyways to get to the point, the last couple of trips I have been on that have been up to Michigan visiting relatives and such have been with my dad. Just me and him since my mom and other siblings were already up there. It was such a sweet time just to hang out with my dad and joke around with him. Since I have moved into another house I do not get to see him that much but I definitely miss him. That time we had together could never be replaced or forgotten in my opinion. For my nineteenth birthday he took me to have sushi for the first time in my life and we got to go to a country concert (where we saw an elvis impersonator :).

In the past I haven't had a great relationship with my dad but as I have gotten older I have seen how much I need him. I once heard that the way girls see their dad can reflect the way they see God, and I believe this with all my heart. He has helped me see more of myself and really cry out to God to help me change parts of myself that hinder me from becoming more like Christ. What I mean by that is that I am more like my dad personality wise than I am like my mom. I'm daddy's little girl :) That doesn't mean that I don't love my mom because I do....

I just wanted to take this opportunity to really thank all of my daddies around the village who encourage me to go on with God and not be scared. That God will take care of me and loves me more than I can imagine. So thank you so much for everything you do that not only builds me up but also that builds the body of Christ up as a whole. Everyone is so unique and lovable in their own ways and I am truly blessed beyond words can describe...thank you so much and I love you so much!

.."You're never a failure until you fail to try." - Jill Wolfe

Passages

Well the new year has started and a lot of things have been given to me this past month. My mom and I went out together a couple days ago to spend time together since I don't live with her anymore and we had a good time. She has begun to encourage me to think about certain things with my passage coming up (maybe April but don't really know for sure). Funny thing was she just told me tons of stuff and I barely got to write down much on my phone to really remind myself...Next time I am bringing a notebook :) Anyways, I posted on village talk a question that I was wondering if anyone would know the answer to:

How does one earn their passage right?

Along with my passage coming up, I have been wondering if I could invite my grandma Kline to it. I don't know how it will affect her but I wanted her to be there for this special turn in my life. I am hoping that by her being there for my passage that when I go up to her house in Michigan, that she will help me be accountable with what has been given to me- and I know myself that I am not a very accountable person.

Anyways, I have also been praying about God directing me to a school of some sort so I can learn to become a pastry chef and/or caterer. I feel that right now it is all in His hands and I am waiting to see if He will blow on it. I have looked up a few schools that would seem really great but now it is back in His hands. Patience can sometimes be so hard to have during this time in my life. All I seem to want to do right now is go, go, go! It's hard for me to stop and listen to His voice.

Sorry...I Forgot

Dear friends,

I am so sorry that I have not written in my blog for about two years straight now! I guess I just lost the will and then got busy with other things... Also I wanted to say that what I have written so far in my blog for me has represented lessons I have learned in life so far and sort-of lost direction. When I first started writing I did so because not only was it part of school but I wanted to use it one day when I go to Africa or New Orleans (which is where I have dreamed of visiting) and about the memories I had there. So I wanted to repeat again how sorry I am that I have let basically everyone down. There are so many reasons why I stopped for such a long time but problem was that I was getting so concerned that what I was writing preachy things and didn't want it to be like that. So basically the problem was that I was focusing too much on the problem and not looking for a solution. Thank you for being so patient and I hope to someday have my own computer so I can write more interesting things that can encourage you...

I have not written much because I have been thinking a lot. The Ingathering, a celebration/tradition Rose Creek Village has annually, has taken a little brain power and the other bit has been thinking about the Sojourners. I am very excited to be in this group and I can feel that God is going to move in an extraordinary way this Ingathering! Anyways, this post I wanted to write was about keep on going when it is hard.

I have really been feeling a test of faith in a lot that I do and it has shaken me. My dad is going through some difficulties in work because of small things but he is looking to God for help. We are all looking to God for help because this is jeopardizing his job at Bodine Aluminum. I am scared but I know that there is really a war of the spirit being fought at this time between him and a fellow worker. I can feel it raging in my soul and asking me if I will still believe that God is bigger than my problems. I know He is. My question for myself is if I will act on it and believe that God is bigger than anything Satan puts in my way. I cannot help but cry. Satan is very tempting I can see that with how my dad holds back his anger and puts forth love instead. Always love. I am proud to be his daughter and know that if this ever gets through, then it will be all to the glory of Love. He will do it and I believe this with my whole heart, mind and soul.

I just got done watching an incredible movie about a man who let love guide his actions and rule in his heart. He could have gotten mad because he was of a different religion or race but he didn't. He persevered and kept showing love all the time. Love really does make a difference if you let it. It can change people's lives beyond what they imagined and more. I could go on and on about how much this gave me a new perspective to life. There was one song, though, that he sang all the time and it was this:

We shall overcome, we shall overcome

We shall overcome someday

Oh deep in my heart

I do believe

We shall overcome someday

He just kept singing that over and over again not even singing the whole song itself. Even those words are powerful without the whole thing being sung because it is sung with belief. Here is my version of the song:

Love shall overcome, Love shall overcome

Love shall overcome someday

Oh deep in my heart

I do believe

Love shall overcome all things

Becoming a Godly Person

Lately I have been thinking hard. The group of kids I am with, just recently named the Sojourners, have been daily challenged to watch our emotions (mainly anger and fear). When I got this homework from Abba, I thought I was going to die. However, I survived to tell the story! It was an amazing experience and I challenge myself to do it everyday. It opened my eyes to how much I can easily get annoyed with my siblings, with my friends, and how easily I lose patience and grace. I cannot say I am fully changed because of it but I can say that it has deepened my perspectives and showed me my weakness. I found this poem I had to memorize when I was in 5th or 6th grade and it turned out to be very helpful. Here it is:

If   By Rudyard Kipling                         

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master;

If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two imposters just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings -- nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run --

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And -- which is more -- you'll be a Man, my son!

Hopefully, this can encourage you as well! This poem is one of my favorites and I am working on myself with this day by day. It is hard but I think that in the end, not only will you be a woman or man but you will be a Godly person and someone God can trust. I look forward to the day when I become a full grown godly person in Christ!

Experiencing/Seeing God

June Conference was awesome!!! I really got to experience being pulled lots of different ways at once; that was because not only was I helping with food, but also practicing four dances I was to perform that weekend. The dances turned out so beautifully and I am grateful that I got to be in them. Have you ever gone outside at night and danced in the moonlight? It is such an unforgettable experience! For all of those who do not get to see the moon that much, you have no clue what you are missing. It is beautiful beyond words can describe! It is amazing getting to live in the country because, well... nothing compares to it in my mind. I wake up to the birds singing in my front yard and go to sleep with crickets and frogs humming me to sleep at night. Anyways, about the moonlight dance. When I got back from Rhode Island, that is what I did for the first few nights. It was almost like the crickets were singing for me and I just couldn't help the love and gratefulness I felt inside! God fills me up so much living here in Rose Creek Village that I could never wish to live anywhere else. Not for all the money in the world! We, my friends and I, got to experience seeing God among people who really love Him and it was breathtaking. It was like we almost got to see through the veil and into another realm... Have you ever been able to see God intimately? Truly if Miss Tennessee could experience it, our state would feel God come so close that they would stop and wonder what happened...

God's Beauty- don't you think about it?

I do not know about everyone else today, but I am just in love with God all over again! He is so wonderful to me and His beauty surrounds me all the time! I could not have asked for a better place to grow up. I have loving parents, who are together in everything and love me unconditionally, and a wonderful house to live in! We just had someone move in with us not long ago and I am enjoying getting to know her. Her name is Grandma Anavah and I constantly see... well,.. the spirit of God shining through her eyes everyday. It makes her so beautiful! My two younger sisters are so beautiful and their joy is contagious! Noelle makes me laugh all the time and she looks so innocent...unless you count the fact that she is a little devil in an angel's costume sometimes. My younger brother tries acting so macho it gets funny. He is bigger than me, and for good reason, but I got a chance to laugh at him when we were ducking low branches while leaving the Pink Palace in Memphis. He is just a big boy...and I mean big! I am just blessed to live in the Kingdom of God and could not wish for anything else (besides the opportunity to go out abroad again!). I am going to be very busy soon and wanted to write a good post before missing a few weeks. I am helping with Rose Creek Village Conference food and baking for the Village Coffee House in Selmer.