A True Friend

I have been asking quite a few of my friends if they, given the chance whether to stand up to me for something I did that was wrong, would be a true friend and confront me. I think Abba said it before in one of his teachings that a true friend confronts his friends with the truth because he wants to help his fellow man grow in truth and not slink around in lies (something of this sort). What I neglected to see, because I was so concerned about who my true friends were, was whether I would be a true friend to them. It is hard for me to confront people especially when it comes to talking and opening up myself so that they can see my heart. I am sure I have said this numerous times but it is true: I am afraid I will get hurt. When I opened up to one of my friends through an email and told them about personal things, I realized it made me look weak and apologized quickly because I worried that I could get hurt. The person wrote me back saying that they didn't want me to be sorry that I opened up about what I really felt inside about a particular matter that has been going on. It encouraged me greatly that he didn't laugh in my face or try to act like he didn't even know why I had brought the subject up.

So that brings me back to the subject that I wanted to write about: will I be a true friend to my friends and stand up to them when I see them do something that doesn't agree with me? I want to say yes with all my heart but I don't know how to do this in deep detail. The best I can think of that would help my friends is if I stopped being a coward, spoke up when the need arose, and let myself get trampled on in order to bring Christ to them. God never said the road would be easy so I guess this will have to be another leap of faith. One of the papas told me recently that God allows us to make mistakes so that we can learn from them and draw closer to Him. It isn't that He doesn't love us because He does. If I didn't make mistakes I would not have a need for God in the first place. So God, if you can read my heart and surf the web, please know that I will take a step in faith and trust Your hands. That You will not let me down and keep me accountable for my friends and help me be a true friend to them. After all, what is the point of life if you don't have a little adventure?

Who is Like our God?

It has been hard for me to put my mind directly into thinking that I must keep people updated on my blogs because my mind has so many other things to think about. My passage was postponed for next month as many have already been told, which was a complete blessing from God in my opinion. They were almost gonna separate Hosanna's and my passages but God kept it together. I can't even begin to explain how grateful I am to a God who cares about my little opinions even though I think they could be trashed easily and stomped over. I am so grateful! Yet through all of this amazing stuff and feeling like I am living a fairy tale dream, I came across this writing that struck a small chord. It is a poem I made that I wanted to make into a song but couldn't get it to sound right. So I'll just let the poem explain itself even though I don't know if it's very good...

I Wanna Be Free

Worries and thoughts cloud by head

I don't know which way to go;

Why do I have to constantly fight myself?

Why can't I just give in?

I want to be free to be wholly me

Not focusing my mind on the things of this world

But to believe and trust in You always

For I am yours and my heart has been marked with your pure love

Magazines and newspapers

Are full of everything but what I'm searching for

I can't find Your face

I want to believe that You love me without reason

I want to believe that You really care about me

But then I listen to the wind

Your voice, I know, is near

Then I hear you say

'I am here, cast your burdens on me

For I am and always will be strong enough.'

I see now that no power, principality, or thing of earth

Can separate me from Your undeserving love

Cause when I see you again

I will be free to run in your arms

I will be free to be wholly yours, the one with whom I'm meant to be

I can believe, for you've set me free

And my chains of self are thrown behind

For I am Yours and You are mine.