Solomon's Seasons

There is a time for everything,
And a season for every activity under heaven:
A time to be born and a time to die,
A time to plant and a time to uproot,
A time to kill and a time to heal,
A time to tear down and a time to build,
A time to weep and a time to laugh,
A time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
A time to embrace and a time to refrain,
A time to search and a time to give up,
A time to keep and a time to throw away,
A time to tear and a time to mend,
A time to be silent and a time to speak,
A time to love and a time to hate,
A time for war and a time for peace,
He has made everything beautiful in its time...Everything God does will endure forever

I read this poem based off of Ecclesiastes 3 in the action bible that we have laying around in our house, and something about it really opened my eyes to how little I really know of what God is doing in my life right now. I feel like I have these moments when I am at a standstill and God has forgotten about me because He has bigger, better things to deal with. I guess the thing that stands out to me the most is the last line about how everything God made is beautiful in its time. Because I feel at such a standstill in my life I try to make it go faster and things happen. I'm sure I only make it harder on Him in the process because I am so anxious to get out there and fight the bad guys. I forget that one of the only ways to fight the bad guys is to really to draw closer to God. I saw this magnet a while ago that said something about how prayer is really just fighting on your knees (or something like that). Basically drawing my strength from the One who really is strong enough to not only vanquish the bad guys but also turn their hearts to see His light.

Anyways, I just wanted to confess to all the people that like this blog that you are 'following' a person who doesn't really know what they are doing themselves. I have really been praying to God that He will give me a job outside the village that includes something with food or catering because I don't want to go to school anymore. Quite a few people have told me that if I continued to go into a cooking school then once I got out in the real restaurant world, that they would eat me alive, spit me out, and try eating me again. I want what God wants ultimately and I keep laying this dream down at His feet. Sometimes I forget about it because I just want complete peace and confidence that this is actually what He wants me to do with my life. I'm also hoping to get a car with some money that my grandparents set aside for me to go to college. As you can see I just have lots of options and keep giving this back to God but I get the feeling that He really just wants to know what I want. I have been questioning and second guessing myself so much about these things that I want and wondering if God really knows why He put those desires there. I desperately want to figure them out but as you can guess with the poem, I feel that I just need to really wait for God to breathe on it.  So here goes another time just waiting on God's timing.

'Trust is giving something you don't have. Trust is holding onto someone's hand. Trust is looking without seeing, holding on and just believing all is in your Father's hands...'